The Picador

Picador Staff Struggles as Traffic Overload Continues to Crash Website

Chae Hahn '17, Editor in Chief

April 21, 2017

Filed under Satire

In his email to the editors back in August, Mr. Herring announced his plans to initiate “a shift that could elevate The Picador” for the year 2016-17, a switch to an online platform. The reasoning behind this decision was s...

Holderness Doubles Down on Leadership Game

Katie Campbell '17, Editor

April 21, 2017

Filed under Satire

Holderness is now ramping up their leadership system to ensure that kids know how important it is to be a leader. We will no longer have keep original names.  Once enrolled, we will add the word leader to the end of everyone's...

President Hayes: Not Our President

Carter Bourassa '17, Editor

April 21, 2017

Filed under Satire

About one year ago today, an announcement was made. With the student body gathered in chapel, then-President, A.J. Chabot, opened the envelope. “The next president is… Brooke Hayes!” The room filled with cheers as Brook...

Mysterious Benefactor Protects Students From Improper Attire

Lolo Zabaleta '18, Editor

April 21, 2017

Filed under Satire

Despite temperature soaring above 80 degrees, roughly half the Holderness student body left their dorm rooms wearing floor length, long sleeve gowns reminiscent of 14th century European peasant attire. The outfits appeared my...

Puppet Master Found Living in Head’s House Basement

Sam Shinn '18, Writer

April 21, 2017

Filed under Satire

“The most horrifying thing I’ve ever seen,” says student who accidentally stumbled upon a 300-year-old man in Mr. Peck’s basement. He claims he was following strange whispers at Brownie Night when he came upon the gho...

Holderness Vows to Enforce Fair Dress Code

Alexa Dannis '17, Editor

April 21, 2017

Filed under Satire

Early Monday morning, Ms. Weymouth sent out an email announcing a plan to fundamentally revise the dress code to not only create fair standards of dress across genders but also to regulate and punish violations fairly. Students...

Duane Ford Fired for Cutting Quad

Erica Ashby '18, Editor

April 20, 2017

Filed under Satire

On April 5, at 5:17 pm., Mr. Ford was seen cutting the quad and deteriorating the pure-bred White Mountain sod. Nigel Furlonge was inside Weld showing three members from the New Hampshire Nature Conservation Board (NHNC) the l...

Student Decides To Try Skim Milk

Spencer Bernard '17, Writer

April 20, 2017

Filed under Satire

To the disbelief of his friends and most onlookers, Holderness student Jonathan Courchesne grabbed his big cup and placed it under the skim milk dispenser on the milk machine. Once he had filled his cup he continued on to his ...