I wake up every morning and stare at the body of someone I’m not. The way my chest is too big or how my hair is too long. I am confused and lost in this female body.
If you saw me as a child, you would probably question whether I was a boy or a girl. I specifically remember one time at summer camp when a girl came up to me and asked me that exact question. My face flushed red and after a couple seconds of panicking, I shrugged my shoulders and fled the conversation. What if I had answered that I was a boy? Would she have cared? If I said that I was a girl would she have made fun of the way I dressed or cut my hair? Looking back I feel a little envious of the situation, because if someone could ask me that exact question, I would tell them the truth, I am neither.
There are four parts that you should consider when thinking about gender. There is the easiest to understand, biological sex, or whatever is written on your birth certificate . Since gender is a social construct, the rest gets a little tricky. There’s gender identity, gender expression, and gender presentation. For me, my gender identity is non-binary, which means that I neither identify with the female or male gender, I am somewhere in between. A lot of the time my gender expression will lean toward the masculine side of things but I have yet to cut my hair (which is on my bucket list). And finally, there’s my gender presentation, which to most everyone is female because that’s how they see me. I live in a female dorm, I use the female locker room, and I use female bathrooms. If I had a choice, I wouldn’t.
During Christmas break, I had gone to American Eagle with my friend at the mall. We did our usual split as I went to the “boys” section and she went to the “girls”. I was approached by a man that was working there. He asked if I was shopping for anyone in particular. After replying that I was shopping for myself, he pointed to the other side of the store and said, “Our women’s section is having a big sale.” I stood there for a second, laughed, and walked toward the mens sweaters.
Thanks for being truly, wholly, unapologetically you!
Thank you for sharing! Here’s to shopping in whichever section of the store you wish! Will you explain the “They Them” title of your article?