What It’s Like to be Bisexual at Holderness

September 21, 2017

To start, I would like to tell you why this article is being posted anonymously. It’s only been about a year since I fully accepted that I wasn’t straight and the first time I came out to someone was only in March. If you ask me if I’m bisexual, I will tell you the truth. However, I need to figure out more about myself before I’m ready for the Holderness gossip mill to run wild.


For those of you who don’t know what bisexuality is, it’s when a person is sexually attracted to both men and women. To clarify, this doesn’t mean that we need or want to have sex with both genders at the same time. I have been asked that twice, once on Tinder, and once by a fellow student who graduated last year. Another question I have been asked multiple times is if I prefer girls or guys. It doesn’t work like that. For me, and I think for most people, it just depends on the person, and asking me to pick a favorite is like asking me to change a piece of who I am.


If I could pick a favorite, I wouldn’t be able to identify as bisexual. Another common misconception about bisexual people is that we are “confused” or  are “just going through a phase.” I will admit it was confusing at first because I didn’t understand what I was feeling, but once I figured it out, it was anything but confusing.  As for it being a “phase,” that is false. For me, this is the most insulting comment because it minimizes an important part of who I am. If it were a phase, it’s a phase that’s been happening since I was at least 12, even if I didn’t realize it until 16.


I started questioning my sexuality freshman year in biology class. I had known the girl I sat next to for a while because we had played on a travel soccer team together. Looking back I always did see her differently than anyone else, but I never made the connection that I had a crush on her. It wasn’t really until sophomore year that it clicked. Unfortunately, by then, she and I no longer went to the same school.


The first person I told was my best friend, who is also gay. I told her I was confused, so we spent study hall looking up different blogs about bisexuality. She’s been my best support system since I came out. Over AB, I started coming out to other people. I told a few of my friends and two teachers before I told my parents. Everyone I’ve told has supported me completely, even though some of them have been just as confused as I was at first.


For people who are questioning their identity, the best advice I can give you personally is to talk to someone. There are so many supportive people on campus that will help you find yourself. Being different will never be easy, but the more you accept it, the better off you will be.

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