The Picador

Filed under Satire

Mysterious Benefactor Protects Students From Improper Attire

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Despite temperature soaring above 80 degrees, roughly half the Holderness student body left their dorm rooms wearing floor length, long sleeve gowns reminiscent of 14th century European peasant attire. The outfits appeared mysteriously outside the doors of every single female student’s room the previous night and were accompanied by an anonymous note. Upon further inspection, each garment had a tag from More Fabrics “R” Us, an obscure clothing company marketed mostly to socially conservative religious cults. Even though several female students passed out from heatstroke, all of have opted to remain in the garb until instructed otherwise. The reasoning behind this decision is unclear but many students have alluded to the content of the note being their motivation. Dean Weymouth has yet to make a statement regarding this phenomena but she did however make it clear that blazers were not necessary after lunch.

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