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Duane Ford Fired for Cutting Quad

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On April 5, at 5:17 pm., Mr. Ford was seen cutting the quad and deteriorating the pure-bred White Mountain sod. Nigel Furlonge was inside Weld showing three members from the New Hampshire Nature Conservation Board (NHNC) the little amount of food students throw away when he guided the guest out the door only to see Mr. Ford in the middle of the quad. The executives of the NHNC were examining Holderness, a prospective school for the prestigious Environmentally Friendly Institution award, when they witnessed Mr. Ford not only kicking the grass out of the ground as he walked but throwing his banana peel on the ground.

 

Two weeks later the scores from the review were received by Mr. Peck. Four points were deducted from the initiative and empathy section of the Environmental overview with the comment of  “Old man liters and kills plants.” Mr. Peck was disappointed to read this because he truly believed that he would be able to stand up in assembly and say that Holderness had won the award. Mr. Peck even had a photo of the hockey rink on a PDF to put on the projector at assembly. To top it all off, Mr. Peck discovered that New Hampton School and Dartmouth College had placed above Holderness School. Furious, Mr. Peck called in Mr. Ford and asked him if he was “the old man who littered and killed the grass”. Mr. Ford replied by saying, “because I’m a good leader, I will be honest. It was me.” Mr. Peck replied, “This is it, Mr. Ford.  You have corrupted our grass yand your office takes up too much space in Weld. Pack your things and go.”

1 Comment

One Response to “Duane Ford Fired for Cutting Quad”

  1. Topher on November 11th, 2017 9:42 am

    Actually Hilarious

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